Rain Dancers Wanted Immediately

I hate to admit this, but Al Gore might have been right--not about creating the Internet--but global warming. Maybe that's the cause of the desert conditions we've been living. Not only have we been without any noticeable precipitation for what seems like months, the temperature's been hovering between 95 and 100 degrees for the same amount of time. It's been so hot and dry, that is seems the Bloomingtonions are going through the same type of cabin fever we suffer each February. It's not pretty! Crime goes up. People are cranky and ornery and just want the season to change...or at least a bit of cloud cover. Even some schools are letting out early for the heat...just like the winters and snow storms. As you see in the photo, a gaggle of college ducklings blew up their wadding pool for a Friday afternoon swim in the middle of Dunn Meadow. (You know Dunn Meadow--the playground for students earning advanced degrees in Frisbee throwing or war protesting and the Sigma Chi intramural football team.)

Then there's the draught. While our Midwestern neighbors have so much water their creating adjunct great lakes, our ponds are so dry that fish are becoming amphibians and heading for the high grass to keep cool. My gardens have gone into a terminal state of dormancy and any grass that's green is an extra hardy strain of crab. This weekend, we sat and watched the red globs on the "Doppler 9000 Super Whopper" weather radar with fingers crossed just hoping those globs would dump on us. Instead the clouds just slid right over our little Bloomington without so much as a droplet of rain. But as folks around here say, "Stick around. The weather will change." But why is it taking so long? Maybe I'll have to break down and read "the Algore's" book after all.

Hang 'Em High...But Why?

For some mysterious and utterly bizarre reason, throwing one's worn out sneakers, baby shoes or Dr. Martens on a power line across a Bloomington street has become an Olympic sport. When the little student darlings are done pitching their piles of junk on the curbs, they finish their rite of passage with the semi-annual shoe toss. It takes a lot of strength and skill to hurl a pair of size 13, triple-digit-costing, "nothin' but net" Nikes that high above one's head. Even IU's greatest, tallest basketball center of all time would have a struggle.

No local seems to know why they do it, either. It's a Bloomingtonian mystery. One theory is that the shoes signal a neighborhood "drug store" and "pharmacist" is nearby. We can only hope we don't have THAT many on every street in the student ghetto.

Or the shoe toss might be a form of sobriety test. "If the shoes don't hang, man, you need another beer." Their senses and reflexes aren't in the proper state of numbness.

I ask you, dear readers, help me out here. Anyone have any ideas what the shoes on the line are all about?

Dumpster Diver Nervana.

The two months beginning with "A" are dumpster diver holidays here in B'town. Those are the two months when the kiddy widdy winkeys clear out the student ghettos and leave four years of junk at the curb for big trash pickup. The students seldom read the local news so have no idea when that's scheduled. As a result, the sidewalks are lined with entire living room suits, computers and printers, tropical fish tanks (often with the fish included), mattresses and at least a semester's (or maybe even a final's week) worth of imported beer bottles.

We're not quite sure how much of the stuff actually gets hauled away. Our professional divers have loads of time to cruise the neigbhborhoods looking for garage sale loot or new "used" junk they can sell to incoming students' to furnish bedrooms, living rooms, front porches --or even rooftops. (I can't even imagine sleeping or laying on some of this stuff which I'm sure is home to numerous varieties of cock roaches and other Hoosier vermin or mildewed and moldy from four years of spilled beer and other fluids.)

And then there's the stuff that dumpster dreams are made of--those rare items that find good, long-term homes somewhere in Bloomington suburbia. I have a very close friend that went for a dive in the dumpster his shop shares with upstairs student tenants. What wonderful prizes were won! What treasures were carted home! After uttering the necessary "Oh, yuck, how gross. You found those where?" I immediately encouraged them to be loaded in the dishwasher and cleansed at the highest temperature possible. We then proceeded to use them to cook Saturday night supper.

To the parents I saw today in our Target store--fear not. All that stuff your little darlings just had to have will certainly be left behind at graduation. But rest assured, somewhere, sometime, it will once again be contributing to Bloomington's greater good. In a town that goes absolutely ga ga over recycling, dumpster diving is our form "community service."

Schedule your Outlook and sync your PDAs. Dumpster season opens again at the end of next April.

Les Champs en Bloomington

Every August I start getting the urge to return to Paris. Mais, alor, the closest I'm getting this year is Les Champs Elysee right here in town. But that's OK. My self-pampering budget stretches a lot farther in the City of Blooms than the City of Light.

I discovered the Aveda day spa and salon right after it opened in 2004. I needed a touch up on my greys and my longstanding salon just wasn't cutting it--so to speak. I think it was the scalp burn from the caustic chemicals a.k.a. hair tints that forced me to find another beauty shop. Donna Disque, half of the mother/daughter ownership team, immediately took me under her wing and assuaged my fears that, yes, there was a salon that could color and cut grey, wavy hair without causing tortuous pain and suffering.

Les Champs is a terrific place to eavesdrop, which I do quite often while I'm waiting for my color to cook. I especially enjoyed the day when five, adorable "tweens" came for their first manicures, pedicures, and makeup instructions--all to celebrate one girl's 12th birthday. Then there was the Saturday when the entire salon staff had spent the morning styling bridesmaids' up-dos and painting their nails for a famous NFL quarterback's mega-wedding. In March, during the week leading up to spring break, the Champs waxing technician earned 5 digits getting the IU Chickie's defuzzed and denuded for the beach. (I didn't even ask how many hundreds of toes were made "flip-flop-ready" during the same six days.)

Mere, Donna et fils, Margarite are on first name basis with everyone and treat every customer like they, too, are the bride of a Superbowl quarterback. Complimentary mini facials and manicures are ways that each client gets a little "value added" from the Disque duo.

Les Champs in Bloomington isn't quite like the Parisian version. But Donna and Margarite (and sometimes grandmere, Mary Anne) make me feel like it is.

The White Rabbit: Then and Now

Close your eyes, climb aboard the dream weaver train and imagine Bloomington in the tied-dyed, smoke-filled, apple-wined 1970's. If you were here, you certainly remember the "White Rabbit." As eclectic as the community it served, White Rabbit was an emporium of the tacky and naughty--hanging beads, Indian print bed throws, lava lights, smelly incense, and pink lawn flamingos and lots more. It was THE PLACE to go for the latest in dormitory decor. The proprietors, Keith and Ken, had the most popular kitsch around. Then sadly, Starbucks' real estate agents agreed to pay a higher price for their famed location and the boys were forced out.

The White Rabbit Today and the Decorative Rug
Today, White Rabbit is a digital printing shop sharing space with the Decorative Rug cum antique store. As a marketing person, I've thought it was a bit curious how one could cross-sell tribal rugs, color copies and book binding--but it seems to work. What's not flying off the shelves is the fine collection of Hull ceramics, original Fiesta ware, carnival glass and other collectible antiques whose provenance has all be painstakingly detailed by Keith's mother, their purveyor. I thought the classic ice cream table with four chairs would find a new home with in hours of its arrival. Oddly, no. The White Rabbit antiques are superb and deserve a good look.

The Rabbit and Rug are located downtown on the county courthouse square at the corner of 6th and College. Hours are Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m. to about 5:30. And if you stop, say hi to Keith and Ken and tell 'em Gail sent you.

The New Bisquits and Gravy in Town

From May through October, Saturday mornings mean a Mom-and-Gail trip to the farmer's market and either breakfast or lunch. Today it was breakfast. Earlier in the week, friends had mentioned a new eatery called Cafe D'Lish that specialized in "good old food." No truffle-oil sprinkled omelets, goat cheese and anchovy scones or vegan muffins, but the type of food most small towns have for breakfast. D'Lish is also the kind of cafe that hopefully is coming back after communities turned to Mickey D's and BK's for our daily bread.

Located just west of the square on Kirkwood, Cafe D'Lish replaced the former Cafe Talent. The owners, Donna Stephens and Randy Groh are professional restaurant folks so the service was quick and Nicole, their cook, did a fab job--especially on her French toast with homemade, fresh blueberry sauce. I heard others going ga ga over a sample of Nicole's "Jamaican-Me-Crazy Chili." I snatched up a menu to see the entire list of offerings. Not only is the food especially reasonable, but in a town were the Sisco food distributor has a monopoly on virtually anything served in every restaurant for miles, the words "Made Fresh Daily" hit a high note.

Like breakfast, the lunch menu looks like the "who's who" in down-home, blue plate specials--chicken and dumplings, friend chicken livers, meatloaf, lots of side choices and of course ye' ole' breaded tenderloin. (No place in Indiana can be successful without one of these favorite sandwiches--regardless of the importance of trans fats and clogged arteries.) Desserts include southern Indiana favorites, red velvet cake and blackberry cobbler along with butter cake and chocolate peanut butter pie.

Breakfast is served 6:00 a.m. to 11:00 and lunch from 11:00 to 3:00 p.m. Most importantly, they're open on Sunday!

Thanks, Cafe D'Lish. Bloomington needed a downtown place like this since the previous version, Ladyman's, was run out by a big, bad ass ad agency whose owner just HAD to build his "global headquarters"right on top of Ladyman's spot on the city map. (That's material for future blogs).

The Ventriloquist and The Exorcist

Sophie and Kyle
It's been quite a week in Bloomington. A good friend's nine-year old daughter Sophie won her division at the Monroe County Fair talent contest. Well, it was actually a duo--Sophie and her dummy friend, Kyle. I mean "dummy" in the right sense...the kind of dummy like Charlie McCarthy... the kind that sits on your lap and moves its lips while you smile sweetly and throw your voice into its mouth--or something like that.

Bless Sophie's heart. A year ago she was fighting for her life at Riley Children's Hospital then suffering from the affects of large doses of steroids. Sophie must have learned her skills for ventriliquism during her months of recuperation. We know she was taught by her mother and her maternal grandmother. I've been told that Sophie's mom was quite an accomplished ventrilquist and performed with her dummy in the Miss Louisiana beauty contest. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

The Exorcist.
The Bloomington Herald Times reported this week that a chap named Eddie Uyesugi, a minister- in- training at the Cherry Hill Ministries in Bloomington, faces preliminary charges of confinement and battery with injury in the beating of a 14 year old autistic boy during the process of casting out demons e.g. exorcism.

According police reports, Kim Norris, the Cherry Hill church pastor said that the school teaches how to cast out demons, but students are only able to practice [the art of exorcism] after graduating from the Church's 2 1/2 year program. In another report, Norris noted, "A ritual to cast out demons is part of the school's teaching manual, but only after graduating from the program are people qualified to cast out spirits--and its done in church, not the home.

...I know that makes me feel a lot better. Exorcism could really hurt the property values! Who want's to knowingly live next door to a demonizer or someone who makes a living out of taunting the devil.